If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
