Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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