it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
