and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
