you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
