pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's just like the Real World with babies
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
