Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
