Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize