New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
