I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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