But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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