U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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