Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
im holly from the hills drunk
It's just like the Real World with babies
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
