She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
