My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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