No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
