I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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