I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
