And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
