Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
