i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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