Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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