you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
