You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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