I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
