No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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