I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
