Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
