I'm jealous of your bromance
Girls should come with a carfax report
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
