I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
