So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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