I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
