Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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