I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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