I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
