yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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