Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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