just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
