So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
