So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
