he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
