hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
