Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize