I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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