Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
