Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
