we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
