from now on my penis is your penis
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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