addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
