i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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