he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The cops high fived after they tackled you
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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