I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
