What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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