I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I can't put those talents on a resume
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize