can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I love you. Go after that dick
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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