There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
