The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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