...so i touched it.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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