i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
