Your dad touched me again.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
