i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She told me I should be a condom model.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
