Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
