She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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