people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my being single is dangerous.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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