I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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