i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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